This is something I have been thinking about for a while, and have been planning since early January, after recent issues popped up.
To keep things short, and while this was not of any intent, I'm gonna take a leave from fandom.
Well, furry community, socially speaking.
I mean, it's fun, a friendly group of people pretending to be animals enjoying each other in a supportive community of arts and expressions.
I want to keep it that way.
Years ago, I discovered this fandom of animals and fluff, wanting to take part in it. Consequently, it jumpstarted my skills in art and strive to improve on such. I later yearned to meet and socialize with other furs in person, do the meets, and get involved. Heck, that was one (granted, of many with higher importance - better weather, transit, ideal schools, family) factors for moving to my present location. After a year of experiencing and being immersed in such a community, with the good and the bad, plus going into the most ideal school... I have been slowly feeling myself disillusioned. It was great at first, being surrounded by all these animal people, developing friendships and connections. And it's great! Problem is, I ended up devoting more time to that than what I was supposed to be focusing on.
I got addicted to meetups, and ended up seeing furries, doing mini-golf, bowling, and attending dinner parties when I should've been writing essays and improving portfolios. Bad choices, preferring leisure over responsibility lead me to suffering in my first semester and struggling to get back up...eventually leading me to be disqualified from the very school I yearned to go to. Essentially, what brought me here caused me to lose what's keeping me here.
and roughly around the same time, I felt the 'dark side' of the fandom seep in; increased promiscuity urges, increased notice of drama and backstabbing in the community, local and otherwise amid a pool of stepford smilers, so to speak. Being in the fandom started to feel less like a hobby and more like a PR job to the point where I figured it would be best to step back.
And so I am, and back to square one, so to speak.
I am back at a city college, working to get my classes back on par to return to that ideal school, and continue working on a standard that will bring things stable. Until life gets back on track, I will be reducing my activity in the fandom to, for lack of better word, 'professional manner':
- Furmeet attendance minimal if nonexistent. Had my fill, need to make these events feel more special occasion. Less drama witness, the better.
- Reduce tweeting ten-fold. I'm too noisy, so to speak, and less drama witness = clearer mind
- Continue Valleydog as-is
- Continue Commissions and arts as-is
- Reduce social involvement beyond close/existing friends.
- Prioritize studying and rebuild work ethic.
- Attend conventions (as, frankly, they are, like mini-vacations and a cheaper version of Disney in a sense; always fun) if not interfering with studies. Plan only when not in study (In this case, given that it has been paid for and set, BLFC will be my next and last until 2015...until further notice).
- Study first, arts second, social last.
- Be known for art, and not for having 2k followers on twitter, tweeting nonsense.
Anywhom, this may seem to be a bit wishy/washy, mixed signals, though coming from a stream of thoughts that I've had in my mind for quite a bit, figured it be best to get this out.